Not Her
by theplaywrite
Summary: Crow has always taken the unfortunate deaths of his friends very hard. Now that he has lost someone he was supposed to have protected, Crow finds himself slipping under his emotions farther than ever before.


Not Her

"No! No, it can't be!" Crow fell to his knees. He could already feel the tears rolling down his face. "No! You're fucking lying, Blister!" He dug his nails into the hard floor of the garage. "Get out! Get the hell out here! Not her."

Yusei knelt down next to Crow and tried to put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Crow, listen it's-"

"Shut the hell up, Yusei!" The younger man shoved Yusei away. "Don't touch me! Don't say anything! Just leave me alone!" Crow stood and bolted upstairs to his room. He violently slammed the door behind him, not knowing how to control his raw emotions. "Not her."

Crow fell on his bed and wrapped his shaking body with the thin sheets. He could not stop his jaw from trembling or end the flow of tears running across his face to his pillow and mattress underneath. He refused to believe what was happening. Crow always did everything in his power to keep the kids he protected back in Satellite safe. How could this happen? How could he let this happen?

Back in the garage, Yusei and Blister were still discussing the tragedy that occurred only the night before. "How is everything back at Martha's place?" Yusei asked in a low tone.

Blister rubbed his tired eyes. It had been a long night for him. "It's still pretty bad. Martha is trying to comfort the kids, but I know she's barely keeping it together herself."

"Is there anything I can do from here? I would go back to the Satellite with you, but I think I need to stay with Crow." Yusei explained his position.

"I don't know, Yusei." Blister sighed. This was the exact reason why he went so long without any friends. Heartbreak and tragedy always seemed to go hand-in-hand when forming new relationships.

"Alright." Yusei responded. "I'll see how Crow is doing tomorrow. Maybe the three of us can visit in a day or two."

Blister sighed and returned to his bike.

"If you guys need anything over there, just call." Yusei reminded his friend. Blister nodded slightly and proceeded to drive away from the garage.

Yusei was not sure what to do now. Crow said he wanted to be left alone, but he needed to make sure his old friend was okay. The young man walked up the stairs and paused outside Crow's room. He could hear the sobs through the door. Crow always took death very hard. He was the first to be informed of Kalin's death and completely distanced himself from Yusei and Jack. After Pearson's death, Crow had great difficultly taking care of the kids he was entrusted with and himself.

"Crow." Yusei did not expect a response.

"Go away."

Yusei went to reach for the door handle, but he stopped himself. "Crow, if you need anything or want to talk about anything-"

"I said 'go away'!"

He could take a hint. Yusei went back downstairs to the garage. When he walked in, he noticed Jack had returned from being who knows where. "What's wrong, Yusei?" Jack could tell something had happened while he was away. And by the look on Yusei's face, it had to be something horrible.

"One of the little girls Crow took care of in Satellite di...passed away last night." Yusei continued to explain. "She got really sick and Dr. Schmidt couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, until it was too late."

Jack's eyes widened in shock and sadness. This would not be the first time a child died because of the poor conditions in Satellite, but life was only supposed to get better after the bridge was completed. "How's Crow taking it?"

"Pretty bad. He's in his room now." Yusei looked back towards the staircase. "I figured we leave him alone for the rest of the day, then see how he is tomorrow."

"You know it's going to take him awhile to accept it." Jack reminded him.

"I know, but I'm not sure what else we can do for him, besides give him time." Yusei responded.

Back in the bedroom, a few hours went by when Crow realized he was not crying anymore. He turned his head to face out the window and saw the sun had completely vanished, but it was still early in the night. The young man, practically still a kid himself, dawned an oversized sweat jacket and went downstairs. Crow hoped Yusei and Jack were either out or in their own rooms, because he did not feel like talking to anyone.

Crow was slightly relived when he saw Jack in his room and Yusei was engrossed in his computer. Neither of the two noticed Crow wheel his bike out of the garage and ride it off into the night. He rode over the Daedalus bridge and through the streets of Satellite, to a very secluded spot. After finding his way there, Crow stepped off his bike to take in the crisp air and dark sky.

He walked up to a worn down, wooden bench, facing the waters that stretched away from the Satellite and city. Crow gazed down at the items carefully laid out by himself on the bench many years ago. It amazed him that they were still there after all this time. A framed photograph of an unknown city's polluted skyline was propped up against the back of the bench. Three small pieces of metal laid flat in front of the picture. One piece was blank, another had the letters 'K.K.' engraved on its surface and the last had 'R.P.' engraved on it as well.

Crow went around the other side of the bench, picked up a piece of scrap metal and a short rod. He slowly and carefully began engraving the dull metal. He could feel tears forming in his eyes again with each stroke on the piece. "Not her. Why did it have to be her? Why did it have to be any of them?"

After he was finished, Crow placed the newly engraved piece of metal next to the others on the bench and sat on the ground in front of the memorial. He whispered a faint lullaby to himself, bit his lips, dragged his hands over the rough concrete and desperately tried holding back more tears. Crow did this every time he lost a close friend, especially when he felt blame could be placed on him.

Back at the garage, Yusei became very worried when he noticed Crow's bike's absence. "I'm going out to find him. Call me if he happens comes back." Yusei told Jack, while getting his own bike ready to ride.

"You don't want me to go out and look for him too?" Jack said.

"There's no need, guys."

Yusei and Jack immediately turned around at the sound of Crow's voice and were relived when they saw him bringing his bike back inside.

"I just went out for a ride." Crow retreated back upstairs, not saying another word to his friends.

There was a short pause between the two left in the garage. "He'll be okay, Yusei."

"I know. Crow always finds a way. I don't know how, but he manages to turn everything around."


End file.
